Friday, July 04, 2008

How Many Christians Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

(Sorry, I don't know the source.)

How Many Christians Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Charismatics - only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals - Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Calvinists - None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholics - None. Candles only.

Episcopalians - Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they like the old one better.

Baptists - At least 15. One to change the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Mormons - Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. (More Mormon lightbulb jokes here.)

Unitarians - We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb service, in which we will explore the number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists - Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved - you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Church lighting service is planned for Sunday, January 5th. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene - Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review the church lighting policy.

Lutherans - None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish - What's a light bulb?

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